The Story We’re Told

Growing up, I was always told that I was smart. I loved fulfilling that story. It became how I saw myself. Yes, there’s a bit of a chicken and egg effect going on here. Was this story a result of my actions, or did I act this way because of the story I was told? I believe both factors played a role, reinforcing each other and shaping my self-belief and academic path.

I took challenging classes, because it’s who I was supposed to be. I read extensively, because it’s what smart people did. I went to an elite college, because it was a huge goal of mine.

The Untold Stories

Conversely, I never really was told that I was athletically or musically talented. Sure, I played sports and I was decent, but I was never really the star. Yes, I played in band, but I didn’t excel. But that’s okay, because it wasn’t my identity.

So I never practiced. I didn’t go out of my way to train. It’s not like I was bad at those things, but it wasn’t my identity so I didn’t spend much time on it.

The Mindset Shift

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes about the mindset shift that can happen when you start to believe something about yourself.

If you want to start a new running habit, you might go out for a run a few times a week. When starting a new habit, like running, we may not initially identify as a "runner." Over time, however, our self-perception changes, and we may adopt the identity of a runner. When this mindset shift actually happens is personal for everyone.

Why it matters

You’re doing the action, so why does it matter when you call yourself a ‘runner’ in your head? It matters, because how you perceive yourself affects your actions in life. From your diet to your actions, it affects your real-world life. The story in your head about how runners act may influence how you act if you consider yourself to be a runner.

I know some terribly misguided people who have a very narrow view of what it means to be masculine. So much so that they can enjoy a meal, then hear it’s ‘vegetarian’ afterwards. Retroactively, they’ll feel like it was a bad meal. They have it in their heads that masculine people don’t like vegetarian food and they don’t want to be perceived as not-masculine. They let their identity dictate their enjoyment.

Aspirational stories

When I call myself an actor, some may question my credentials. While I’m not on TV regularly, I’ve invested a ton of time into the craft, taking classes, being in theatre productions, and making a concerted effort toward my goals.

Doesn’t matter if you believe I’m an actor, I do. I’ve put in the work, even if I’ve still got a long way to go.

I’m not saying to go around saying you’re a pilot if you’ve got some hours logged in flight simulators or saying you’re a soldier when you’re highly ranked in Call of Duty.

But I do think that you know yourself. What are you passionate about and spend your time on? Are there any stories that you believe about yourself that are holding you back?

Be the protagonist in your own story

The Story Solution by Sean Platt and Johnny Truant is a book from two authors who frame living your life in the context of writing a story. Consider the genre, tone, and voice of a story with you as the protagonist. How do they align with what your ideal story is like?

Consider your ideal reader. Everyone has people whose opinions they care about — is your story something that would appeal to that reader?

How would you summarize your life in a logline, and how does it differ from your ideal narrative? By envisioning our lives as stories, we can make choices that propel us toward our desired outcomes. If you’re an author writing a story where you’re the protagonist, let’s make some choices that move the character in the direction of our end goal.

What to do about self-perception

Our self-perception influences our actions, aspirations, and potential. By reflecting on our self-image and comparing it to our ideal self, we can identify ways to improve.

Spend some time writing down how you view yourself. Then spend some time writing down how you want to be viewed. Then spend some time figuring out how to bridge that gap.

By consciously shaping our narratives, we can guide our actions and live the kind of life that we aspire to have.

I’m a programmer. I love writing code and making things work. That was a large part of why I decided to initially use Ghost for this newsletter.

I enjoyed its self-hosted, open-source nature, its ease of customization, and the sense of ownership it provided.

But — I’ve decided to switch over to Substack.

The reason is simple: You don’t care about my tinkering. And the intention of this newsletter is to provide insights, ideas, and inspiration for you.

And while I love tinkering, every time I went to go write a new post, I found myself trying to remember the kludged together system I had for collecting and sending emails.1 Or realizing there was a new upgrade to the platform and I should do that, first. Or wanting to try a new, fancy plug-in for the blog. I did pretty much everything except write.

So, here we are. Substack it is!

Productivity Apps vs Pen-to-Page

This concept of simplification has positively impacted other areas of my life. There are a whole host of tools, apps, and systems that promise to organize your life. If you’re anything like me, you’ve tried every single one of them. Todoist, Ticktick, Notion, Evernote, Google Keep, Asana, Omifocus, Things — the list goes on.

What finally ended up working the best for me? The Remarkable 2. A glorified pen and paper.

All of those productivity apps are excellent. They do what they say — and for a lot of people, they work wonderfully. In fact, I still use some of them in some cases.

But the thing that the Remarkable does for me that none of the others do is provide strict focus and simplicity. There’s no possibility to get lost in tinkering as the UI is just folders and notebooks. No rabbit-holes of figuring out how to make tasks recur. No googling for how to use certain features.

Pen meets paper and focus is restored.2

Finding Opportunities for Simplicity

This idea of simplicity leading to focus is relatively new to me. I have a feeling that there are a whole bunch of areas in my life that can be improved by finding ways to simplify.

Should I go full Steve Jobs and wear the same thing everyday? Hm. Probably not.

Are there other areas of my life that I’m focusing on the wrong aspect of when I could be focusing on the actual bit that serves my main goals? Almost certainly.

Actionable Tips for Finding Simplification Opportunities

1. Find fewer things to do. Prioritize and find what’s most important.

Do that first. I want to do everything all at once. Coding, writing, acting, exercising, have a healthy social life, etc. Narrowing focus helps with determining what’s non-negotiable and what is.

2. Be mindful while working.

Are you working towards your goal or are you working around your goal? For me, I was working around my goal of a consistent newsletter by ‘setting things up.’ Focus on the main goal. For me, that meant writing.

3. Limit distractions.

Turn off notifications, block websites, and create a designated workspace. This can really help you focus. I use Freedom to block sites on my computer, phone, and tablet during various focus periods in the day.

Let’s hear from you

If you’ve found areas of your life that you’ve been able to simplify, automate, or reduce rabbit-holes, I’d love to hear from you! Comment here or shoot me an email. Your experience may inspire me or someone else achieve their goals.

As both a software engineer and an actor, I often hear about incredible success stories, from big breaks in acting to 7-figure exits in the tech world. Should we attribute these accomplishments solely to luck, or is there something these individuals are doing that sets them apart?

Big Breaks in Acting

On the acting side, we frequently hear stories of actors getting discovered at their very first audition or landing a huge role due to a fortuitous set of circumstances. While these instances of pure luck do happen, they are incredibly rare. Most actors work their entire careers in commercials, TV, and films without ever landing leading or high-budget roles.

I would argue that the majority of these success stories are not a result of luck, but rather manufactured circumstances. Let me explain.

More Opportunities through Community

Think of everybody you know. How many of those people have ever auditioned for anything big, let alone something that would be considered a fame-making role. Don't get me wrong, there are a whole lot of actors for a small number of roles, but if you reorient "fame" and frame it in the world of people who act, then the world gets a whole lot smaller.

This smaller acting community lends itself to opportunities. As you take classes and collaborate with others, you create connections that can later prove valuable. When you are part of a community, the chances of stumbling upon a great opportunity increase. I'm still on the very fringes of this world, but have already met influential people who might someday think of me when casting their new project. What may seem like luck is often the result of years of networking and persistence. Wow, lucky!

Ideas for Creating Opportunities

To manufacture your own luck and create opportunities in your field, consider the following ideas:

• Network by attending industry events, joining online communities, and reaching out to professionals in your field.

• Keep improving your skills by taking workshops, online courses, or teaming up with friends on projects.

• Be proactive in finding new projects and challenges to show off your abilities and build a strong portfolio.

• Stay in the loop about industry trends and developments to spot potential opportunities early on.

By taking these steps, you can increase your chances of encountering those "lucky" breaks and transforming them into real success.

I’m a huge introvert so networking can be exhausting for me. I’ve found most of my success in networking by joining classes, doing workshops, and through projects. Play to your strengths!

Entrepreneurial Success

In the software engineering world, I've seen similar situations. Some people start a side project that blows up, leading to an early retirement on a beach somewhere. Others join a start-up on the upswing, receiving stock options that pay off when the company goes public.

Again, while there’s definitely a component of luck to this, the chance of blowing up grows dramatically by just showing up. Day after day.

I know a lot of software engineers. Some of them have side projects, but only a few take them seriously. Most are content to work a salary position and enjoy a pretty great life (nothing wrong with that!). But the ones who venture out to try to have their side project become a big deal are the only ones who have an opportunity to ‘blow up.’ They bought their lotto ticket.

The multiplier for their lotto ticket are the connections they’ve made by being involved in their field. The connections they’ve made suddenly become promoters or purchasers of their product.

The Role of Resilience

Resilience plays a crucial role in overcoming setbacks and achieving long-term success. Build resilience by:

• Developing a growth mindset that sees failures as opportunities to learn and improve.

• Practicing self-compassion and realizing that setbacks are a natural part of progress.

• Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and mentors who can offer guidance and encouragement.

• Establishing healthy habits, like exercise, to help manage stress and maintain a balanced perspective.

I’ve met people who keep a spreadsheet of self-love. When someone compliments their work, they add it to the spreadsheet. And whenever they feel out of their depth, they revisit their spreadsheet.

By building resilience, you can better navigate the inevitable ups and downs of your career and stay focused on your goals.

The Truth about Luck

Not all luck is manufactured. Some people work hard their whole lives and never have things go their way. Others are born into circumstances that make their life much harder or much easier. We can't change the hand we were dealt.

However, we can enter that hand we were dealt into so many pots that we're bound to hit a full house sometime. It can be hard to persevere through loss after loss. But anybody that's able to show up, day after day, and put in the work are the people who we'll later admire as an overnight success

So take each day one at a time. Show up. Multiply your odds.

Good luck!

Writing for Fun

One of my best buddies, Anton, recently started a newsletter and has inspired me to do the same. His first post is about finding and pursuing his passions. We have completely different passions, but we share a love of writing.

I read writing craft books like nobody's business.

• Stephen King's On Writing is stellar.

• Brandon Sanderson's BYU writing series is **chef's kiss**.

• The Writing Science Fiction class at MIT with Jeffrey Carver and Joe Haldeman was an absolute blast.

None of it feels like work. It feels fun. And with limited free time on this earth, why not prioritize fun?

My passions have led me to some weird places and have taught me a great deal about myself.

There's just one problem with all those lessons learned.

I forget things. Fast.

Writing to Time Travel

I'm the only person I know that has been surprised by the end of Memento more than once.

But every once in a while, I'll come across something I wrote or some project that I worked on and a wave of memories come flooding back.

It always reminds me of where I was and how far I've come and leads me to wonder where I'll eventually be.

For example, I've always loved the theatre and acting. I've been in countless plays and seen countless shows.

After college, it became hard to pursue that creative side. I'd finish work feeling exhausted, have some dinner, unwind, sleep, and do it all over again.

And so, a year and a half ago, I decided to take acting lessons. (I promise you'll hear more about this in other posts.)

Every week for the past year and a half, I've met with a group of wonderful people led by excellent instructors and have played pretend in front of a camera. It's so much fun.

Well – It's fun now, at least.

When I started, I was petrified. Put me in front of a camera and a light and I froze up. Fast forward to today and I have no real issue hamming it up for a camera.

I bring this all up because part of the classes' many assignments is to write a weekly blog.

In writing that blog, I've been able to time travel. I can go back to the start of the blog and remember the gut-wrenching first few classes. I vividly remember sitting in my car before class started wondering why the hell was I putting myself through it.

But if you look at my most recent posts, they're about the craft itself. They're about learning from the instructors, from my peers, and even about experiences being on set.

Now I have this really awesome body of work in the form of a blog that took me an hour or so every week that's full to the brim of ideas, eureka moments, overcoming doubts, and more. And that's badass.

Writing to Share

I've had this domain name for a while. I've had a blog here for a while. I had one blog post here for a while.

But reading Anton's newsletter, finding the joy in writing for my acting class, and reading things like Austin Kleon's Show Your Work that espouse the benefits of sharing from a place of learning and not necessarily from a place of expertise have all inspired me to write.

It is my firm belief that anybody who is not a psychopath has experienced Imposter Syndrome. On paper, I should feel like an expert in some areas. In practice, I feel like I'm constantly winging it.

But I think the secret is that everyone is winging it. Everyone is at a different stage of learning and everyone makes mistakes.

So it's nothing to be ashamed of if I put out a blog post about how I solved a programming problem and there's a much better way out there. I'll share my inefficient way and hopefully a reader can share the better way.

Similarly, my acting journey has had me recount tales of overcoming stage fright. At that moment in time, it was the most pressing issue. Now that I'm past that, I can share tips for self-taped auditions or for bettering my performance.

But if I don't write about those beginner moments and only write from a place of expertise, there would be no resources for people who are at that earlier stage.

And – let's be honest – there would be a high chance I'd never write anything at all as it's rare that I feel like an expert in any field.

So regardless of what stage of a project I'm in, I'm gonna write about it. And with any luck, some of it will resonate with you.

Writing to Live a Great Life

Among the endless writing craft books I've read, The Story Solution by Johnny Truant and Sean Platt was a self-improvement book in disguise.

The main idea is to cast yourself as the main character in a book written about you. Then, when presented with options on how to live your life, you can ask yourself what an interesting main character might do.

I know great stories are marred by conflict and I'm not saying to go around getting into shenanigans. But for my purposes, living a life interesting enough to share about here sounds perfect.

This advice is akin to "Live a great story" or "Live every day like it's your last." And when I think about those pieces of advice, I always get a momentary boost of motivation. But inevitably, that momentum wears off and I'm left wondering what happened.

But if I'm writing here on a regular basis, that little mantra of living an interesting life to share will stick around.

I'd love to read about your interesting adventures as well. If you have your own space on the internet, I want to hear about it. Let me know!